WASHINGTON, D.C.—Local serial killer “Murderin'” Matthew Fallgreen was confronted by police about his latest murder. Luckily, he was ready with an airtight defense, shouting defensively, “Come on, man! That was 4 or 5 days ago!”, though cops have confirmed that the murder was actually committed under two days ago.
“Murderin’ Matthew, where were you on the night of August the 17th?” a police officer asked in a darkened interrogation room as he chomped on a cigar. “Did you kill Sally Huxtable, a prostitute we know to have been working the street corner where you were seen that night?”
“Come on man!” he replied indignantly. “That was four, maybe five days ago!” The cops then told him it was only two days ago.
“Look, nobody likes prostitution,” he argued. “We all agree it should be ended as a society, right? So I think I’ve made my point.”
When asked if he would do anything differently, he replied that he stood behind the actions he took, causing the media to praise him for his bold act of courage.