AT LEAST IT WON’T PROCREATE

And by having done it to itself it saved taxpayers a lot of money.

Yeah, an asshole that went “nullo.”

Says its sex life has never been better.

Of course it is! It’s a pole smoker who never had need of a dick because it has two orifices its “partner” can use.

Its parents sure must be proud!

A man sliced off his own penis and testicles using an ultra-sharp ceramic knife so he could become a genitalia-free ‘nullo’ – and then kept his severed organ in the freezer until his mother threw it out.

Trent Gates, a 23-year-old from Washington DC, removed his testicles in a DIY surgical procedure performed in his own apartment in April 2016, before chopping off his penis in a North Carolina motel room eight months later.

Gates, who says he sanitized the blade for safety and took only painkillers in preparation, was inspired to perform the radical procedure after seeing another famous ‘nullo’ called Gelding at the age of 15.

A ‘nullo’, also known as a ‘smoothie’, is someone who has undergone extreme body modification by having their genitals, and sometimes nipples, surgically removed.

The subculture does not necessarily relate to the person’s sexuality, though many consider themselves eunuchs. Gates identifies as a non-binary person who is sexually attracted to men.

‘I used a ceramic (knife) because its sharper than the steel, less ripping and tearing,’ the IT worker told the Metro Online, adding that he took ‘every precaution’ before surgery and went to the hospital immediately afterwards.

‘I honestly didn’t have a problem with the pain. I used a little bit of a numbing agent, a little bit of lidocaine on it, and i took to five milligrams of oxycodene that they prescribed me when I did my balls to take the edge off,’ Gates said.

The same surgeon stitched him up on both occasions.

He told Metro: ‘They made sure I got psychiatric treatment just to make sure I was sane and that it was a good decision. ‘The therapists and the psychiatric staff said “Yeah, yeah, he’s good, he’s sane…miraculously”.

To help him recover from the procedure, Gates inserted a catheter for several weeks to ensure there was a hole through which he could urinate.

When he removed his testicles it took around a month for the wound to heal, while the area where his penis once was took three weeks.

Explaining why he felt compelled to do the surgery, Gates said he always felt somewhere between man and woman – ‘an androgynous in-between’.

‘I have no desire to be a woman,’ he said. ‘It’s kind of a middle ground in-between the two, an androgynous in-between.’

So he followed in the footsteps of a man called ‘Gelding’, considered the godfather of the community, who removed his testicles in 2000 and his penis in 2011.

‘He’s kind of like the grandfather of the community,’ he said of ‘Gelding.’

Gates described the surgery as not being ‘that painful’ and boasted of his improved sexual performance afterwards, admitting the first time he had sex following the surgery he ‘almost passed out’ from the intensity – and was shaking for hours after.

‘It was that intense of an orgasm,’ he said. ‘It’s kind of weird.’

He also explained that he can still ejaculate, but that it is the bodily fluid produced from his prostate, minus the semen once produced from his testicles.

The IT worker said his boyfriend accepts his modified genitalia, although he admits he did not tell his parents about his plans until after the surgeries were complete.

He added that both his parents and grandparents were immediately accepting of his life choice – although his mother drew the line at having his penis stored in the family freezer and threw it out.

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4 Responses to AT LEAST IT WON’T PROCREATE

  1. bogsidebunny says:

    “It” must have been well prep, cause an ordinary self-castration usually results in shock followed by bleeding out. Too bad “It” was able to avoid that.

  2. dekare says:

    Hey…whatever gets your rocks off……LITERALLY.

  3. Eskyman says:

    ‘They made sure I got psychiatric treatment just to make sure I was sane and that it was a good decision. ‘The therapists and the psychiatric staff said “Yeah, yeah, he’s good, he’s sane…miraculously”.

    He’s insane and so are the therapists and psychiatric staff. They’re all nuttier than fruitcakes, and shouldn’t be working in any public institution; on the contrary, they all should be IN a psychiatric institution, being treated for mental illness!

  4. Pity it didn’t bleed out in my view.

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