AND IN “FLORI-DUH” NEWS……

Man beats his girlfriend.

She has no arms or legs.

He’s 6 foot 9 inches. That’s right…..81 inches tall.

Said he was tired of taking care of her and wanted to go to jail.

Which makes me wonder: what was the attraction at first?

Did he not know what he was getting into?

It’s not like he didn’t realize she couldn’t cook, clean, eat by herself, wash herself, wipe her butt … hell, get on the toilet herself, etc.

Pay attention to the first 10 words of the story.

Who says writers don’t have a sick sense of humor?

A woman without arms or legs was at a loss for what to do when her boyfriend punched her in the ear on Sunday afternoon.

Brandi Gregory, 39, couldn’t call the police when she was attacked by her live-in boyfriend Patrick Moan because he’d broken her cell phone two weeks prior.

But two hours after the punch on Sunday, Moan pushed her to a Walmart in Vero Beach, Florida, because he wanted her to tell someone, police told the Miami Herald.

Moan told someone shopping in the store, and said he hoped ‘someone would call the cops so he could go to jail.’

Apparently, the 37-year-old was ‘tired of taking care of her and pushing her in a wheelchair everywhere.’

The arrest report also says he’s ‘also tired of being her primary caregiver and felt if he punched her and confessed it, he would no longer have to take care of her and she would be the state’s problem.’

Moan, who is 6’9″ and weighs 185 pounds is currently booked on a $1,000 bond.

Gregory told police that Moan beats her up about once a month – or whenever he gets drunk, according to the Herald.

Gregory was born without limbs – and only has one foot which extends from her lower torso. She and Moan have been dating off and on for at least two years.

Moan has been arrested in the past, though it is not clear what he was booked for.

Florida, where the crime took place, was ranked the worst state in the country according to a Thrillist ranking.

Among the reasons in its ‘Definitive and Final Ranking,’ the website claims Florida’s awful resume is ‘staggeringly impressive,’ due to the high crime rate and ‘lack of contributions to America.’

Thrilllist cited the popular Twitter page ‘Florida Man’ as proof. The account details real-life stories of people who live in Florida, many of which depict heinous acts of violence.

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4 Responses to AND IN “FLORI-DUH” NEWS……

  1. redneckgeezer says:

    The only comment I could make would reveal what a sick bastard I am, so I probably should just keep my mouth shut. I doubt she did though.

  2. Jim McFalls says:

    I could see how having no arms or legs could lead settling for a terrible life, and then there is Nick. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jhcxOhIMAQ

  3. redneckgeezer says:

    Cool video about Nick! And here I was going to come back and ask, “What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that falls in the water?” Bob, of course.

  4. grayjohn says:

    The old Monkey Humping a Football joke comes to mind…

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