Release Your Frustrations

Today’s world is filled with so many morons, that many of us need something to counter our stress. Why not have some fun in the process?

A friend suggested I purchase the latest in weapons so I could go on a one man rampage. After careful consideration, I did just that. Believe me when I say the carnage has been unbelievable. There have been more dead bodies in and around my home than I have been able to count. I’m happy to say, I’ve been the one to do all the killing and I’ve loved every minute of it.

The best part of the whole scenario is that the weapon itself isn’t too expensive and I purchased a large box of ammunition at the local Sam’s Club which may last me several years.

The only downside to this story is that my wife is getting tired of me shouting things like, “Die, you useless asshole” or that I’ve named many of the victims prior to their deaths and shouted their names as I’ve removed them from the planet. Some of my favorite are “HilLIARy,” “Bill,” “Barack,” “Mohammad,” and countless others.

If you have a few extra pennies for which you can’t find use AND you’d like to vent your frustrations by killing a few things, this is the weapon you need:

BUG-A-SALT 2.0!

The BUG-A-SALT uses no batteries. Common table salt is the ammunition. I’ve yet to even refill mine, but I’ve been wasting bug after bug and even gone on the hunt in my back yard. An especially warm feeling comes over me after blowing a wasp out of the air in mid-flight.

They’re kind of pricey at $43.95, but if you have Amazon Prime, the shipping is free. Here’s the BUG-A-SALT in action. It’s especially gratifying in full screen mode:

The only negative feature of this fine weapon is the “auto” safety that engages each time you cock the weapon. I have not as yet modified mine, but should you so desire, you can find numerous how-to videos at YouTube to assist you in disabling the safety. Rapid fire is difficult when it comes to cocking the gun, then having to disable the safety before you fire each round of salt.

About redneckgeezer

Backwoods ignorant redneck. (Or so they say...)
This entry was posted in Misc. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Release Your Frustrations

  1. Steve Bensen (@RecklessProcess) says:

    My flies shrug the salt off and fly away…

Comments are closed.