Monthly Archives: April 2017

TAKING BETS

Man in custody for starting two fires in a Trump hotel. Wanna bet he’s one of those AntiFa assholes paid for by the democrats or George Soros? A man was taken into custody Wednesday night after arson investigators found devices … Continue reading

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THE DAILY CHORTLE

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IF YOU LIKE BOWLING….

….you’ll like this: Ben Ketola had the bowling alley to himself, and rolled twelve strikes in a row for a perfect game …in only 86.9 seconds! That’s a world record. Ketola, of Cortland, New York, bowls about 50 games a … Continue reading

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I THINK SHE’S MENTALLY RETARDED

Woman spends tens of thousands to look like Barbie. She looks like a tattooed asshole. A woman has revealed how she has spent a staggering $35,000 transforming herself from a goth to a human Barbie. Ophelia Vanity, 30, from Los … Continue reading

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I SMELL A LAWSUIT

I hope this guy wins. Plane delayed, he needs to pee, told to sit because if he pees they lose their place in line and plane delayed. He returns to seat and plane delayed even longer. He can’t wait. He … Continue reading

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YOUR LUNCHTIME MUSIC BREAK

MATERIAL ISSUE: “VALERIE LOVES ME”

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OK, THIS IS NOT GOOD

Ransom-ware wrapped as a document in an attachment wrapped in a pdf. Ransomware attacks are getting more and more clever as the public gets wise to them. The latest involves hiding a malicious macro inside a Word document attached to … Continue reading

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So, You Want To Immigrate To Mexico

Ironically, this was from a friend who retired to Mexico but believes the US should have open borders for Mexicans wanting to come to the US. Financial Criteria for Residency in Mexico If you plan to live, work, or retire … Continue reading

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PLAY WITH FIRE AND DARWIN WILL COME CALLING

This kid found out the hard way. And the moron’s mother is now blaming his pal for getting the fuck out of dodge and letting her precious son die. A 14-year-old boy left a heartbreaking voicemail on his friend’s phone … Continue reading

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MORNING EYE CANDY

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WHEN WILL WE HAVE POLITICIANS WITH THE BALLS TO TELL THE UN TO STFU?

They’re warning us that to abolish Obama-Care would violate international law. Obviously not the current crop of pussies. The United Nations warned the Trump administration earlier this year that repealing ObamaCare without providing an adequate replacement would be a violation … Continue reading

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MAKING THE CASE FOR EXTINCTION THROUGH EXTREME PREJUDICE

Nigger beats 86 year old woman to death while she walked on high school track for exercise. Find him. Kill him. Police say a man beat an 86-year-old woman to death in a random attack as she walked around a … Continue reading

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TRUMP SLAPS FEES ON IMPORTED LUMBER

Whining already beginning about what it will do to the housing market. Go on, do a little math to tell me exactly how bad this is…..or not. Average new home price: $350,000. 7% is in wood. ($24,500) 20% tariff (even … Continue reading

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AND WE’RE SUPPOSED TO CARE………WHY?!?!?!

Inmate hangs himself as guards watch Netflix. Good job, guards. You’ve just saved taxpayers shitloads of money caring for this guy. Hey! This was a halfway house. Not jail or prison. People get released there because they’re not supposed to … Continue reading

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THE SECOND BEST WAY TO GO

Couple married 69 years die holding hands. Isaac Vatkin always cared for his wife, Teresa. Even as his own death approached, he clung to life as his wife’s health, too, began to deteriorate. On Saturday, when they were both unresponsive … Continue reading

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THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN RAGHEADS GROW THEIR NUMBERS

At first they start local activism demanding “rights.” Then they go statewide with their demands. Then they get elected to political office and start demanding terrorists get insurance payoffs when they die committing acts of terror. The problem here is … Continue reading

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THIS IS A GOOD START (PART 2)

Getting out of NAFTA. Immediately republicans warned Trump not to. Those corksnockers should be identified and targeted for loss in the next election. The Trump administration alarmed Republicans on Wednesday with its consideration of an executive order that could lead … Continue reading

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THIS IS A GOOD START (PART 1)

100 layoffs at ESPN. Decimated is a term that comes to mind. Reports of the number of layoffs to befall employees at cable sports network ESPN have been steadily increasing, but no one expected that the full measure would amount … Continue reading

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A GOOD BAROMETER FOR MEASURING THE DEGREE TO WHICH REPUBLICANS WILL SUCK LIBERAL ASS

Vote’s coming up to fund Planned Parenthood vs. funds for a border wall. Guess which the GOP will fund? When Donald Trump stood in the lobby of Trump Tower on June 16, 2015 and announced he was running for president, … Continue reading

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THIS IS WHY WE HAVE A SECOND AMENDMENT

The POS dictator running Venezuela (into the ground) is issuing guns to loyalists to shut down protesters. After enduring shortages of food and medicine for years, as well as a total collapse of their currency, the people of Venezuela have … Continue reading

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THE DAILY CHORTLE

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THE HARP TWINS DO “IRON MAN”

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WANT SOME BLUEPRINTS FROM STAR WARS AND STAR TREK?

They’re to be auctioned: Be that as it may, this comment nailed it: “That would be fantastic, except they were thought up by someone in Hollywood who couldn’t put the chain back on his bike.” The blueprints for Star Wars’ … Continue reading

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THE KIND OF STORY TEASE I’D BUY A BOOK FOR

About the Queen Mother: The tourists milling around outside Buckingham Palace stared in amazement as the Queen Mother walked through its gates following an impromptu stroll from her home at nearby Clarence House. I was as surprised as anyone that … Continue reading

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YOUR LUNCHTIME MUSIC BREAK

ALLVIN LEE BAND: “I DON’T WANNA STOP”

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ARMY TO GET A NEW TOY, TOO

A new helly-oopter. Fast little fucker, too. Lockheed Martin has released a new promotional video showing the S-97 Raider light tactical helicopter demonstrating many of its unique performance capabilities. The S-97 Raider, if adopted by the U.S. military, would replace … Continue reading

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MORNING EYE CANDY

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AND YET ANOTHER WHITE ASSHOLE WHO THINKS HE’S BLACK…… BECAUSE HE THINKS HE IS!

What is it with these morons? No self esteem? A man refused to accept the results of his ancestry DNA test after it revealed he wasn’t black, according to a New York Times piece last week. Two professors from West … Continue reading

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WHITE HOUSE WASTES NO TIME PLACING BLAME

The White House released a statement shortly after that asshole judge blocked Trump’s order to cut funding to sanctuary cities and place the blame for all future American deaths at the hands of illegals squarely on the shoulders of those … Continue reading

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BLACK ROBED TYRANT BLOCKS TRUMP’S ORDER TO DE-FUND SANCTUARY CITIES

It won’t be long and people will start having rope and 2×4 marches. With some carrying tar and feathers. Guess to whose campaign this asshole bundled $200,000? Federal Judge William Orrick III, who on Tuesday blocked President Trump’s order to … Continue reading

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POS DESERVING OF A BULLET BETWEEN THE EYES

Illegal beaner purposely runs over bicyclist: An illegal immigrant in a small North Carolina town intentionally hit and killed a bicyclist with his car, according to police. Genaro Muniz-Padilla, an 18-year-old illegal immigrant, allegedly struck 42-year-old Jamica Williams with his … Continue reading

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SORRY, FOLKS, I CAN’T GET EXCITED ABOUT THESE “TAX CUTS”

Trump’s about to unroll his tax cut plan. Now before you get all pissy hear me out. I have no problem with cutting corporate tax rates. They are among the highest in the world. For those who say many corporations … Continue reading

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I CAN ALREADY SEE HOW THIS WILL BACKFIRE IN OUR FACES

Sounds great, right? Religious liberty act to protect Christians and Christianity. Guess who will be the first to take us to court on this demanding more prayer time form employers and more mosques in our neighborhoods? Dozens of Republican lawmakers … Continue reading

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AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES NO LONGER PLACES OF LEARNING AND FREE SPEECH

Ann Coulter’s supposed to speak at Berkeley. She’s going to do it at a public square. Berkeley cops have been issued a stand-down order. In other words, the University of California, Berkeley, is advocating violence on its campuses. I think … Continue reading

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SPEAKING THE TRUTH GETS YOU FINED IN FRANCE

No wonder they’re so fucked. A French mayor was fined 2000 Euros for saying his town had too many ragheads. Robert Menard, mayor of the southern town of Beziers, is an ally of the anti-immigrant National Front party. On 1 … Continue reading

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THE DAILY CHORTLE

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TOO FRIKKIN’ FUNNY

Found this at Rodger’s place. A new series featuring Amanda Peet. NOT SAFE FOR CHILDREN!!! Funny as hell. Click on the image to see the first episode. You’ve been warned.

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WHALER WIVES ALWAYS HAD “HUSBANDS” AT HOME

Unusual story: A long and quite interesting article at Literary Hub traces one writer’s journey to document the use of dildos by the wives of Nantucket whalers. On Nantucket, 80-year-old Connie Congdon and I sat in her dim living room … Continue reading

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AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Iceland risks losing its language. When an Icelander arrives at an office building and sees “Solarfri” posted, they need no further explanation for the empty premises: The word means “when staff get an unexpected afternoon off to enjoy good weather.” … Continue reading

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YOUR LUNCHTIME MUSIC BREAK

ROCKPILE: “TEACHER, TEACHER”

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OOOH! HER PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD!

Didn’t they just do a bang-up job of raising her!! She uses her boyfriend’s ball to blend her makeup. Films it. Puts it out for the world to see. Along with all her metal spikes and assorted shit sticking out … Continue reading

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MORNING EYE CANDY

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I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

Republicans refuse to fund building a wall to avert a government shutdown. In other words, they’re being held ransom by members of their own party who prefer to suck the dicks of liberals and illegal enablers. Trump should veto this … Continue reading

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ONLY LIBERALS CAN BE SO GODDAM STUPID

Ontario wants to start giving poor residents a basic income. They somehow think it will help them. Let’s see now: 1. take people not making anything or contributing anything to society lots of money 2. expect them to want to … Continue reading

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TYPICAL LIBERAL WANTS TEBOW TO FAIL

This must be what penis envy is to elitist media assholes. The New York Mets made a smart decision when they decided to give Tim Tebow a chance to play for their Class A farm team in Columbia, S.C. The … Continue reading

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PROOF POSITIVE EUROPEANS ARE MORONS

Rome is sending 70,000 tons of trash to Austria who burns it to create electricity. A huge distance to send by train. All because they don’t want to put it in landfills and create climate change with released gases. Which … Continue reading

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WOW! ISN’T THE SCHADENFREUDE TASTY WITH THIS ONE

ISIS fighters killed by rampaging boars. You can’t make this up! Three Islamic State jihadis have reportedly been killed by rampaging wild boars near Iraqi farmland. The three Islamic State militants were cut down by the feral boar known to … Continue reading

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WHO SAYS ISRAELIS DON’T KNOW HOW TO TROLL?

Paleo-simian prisoners on a hunger strike. Israelis gather outside prison for a BBQ. Paleo-simians outraged!! Now if they’d only included chicks in bikinis and a bunch of beer…..maybe include some pork chops for the Christians joining them in support. On … Continue reading

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HANNITY’S NOT PUTTING UP WITH THE BULLSHIT O’REILLY DID

He’s threatening to sue. Accuser immediately backs down. n the latest media attack on right-wing media stars, Sean Hannity was accused of sexual harassment by blogger and attorney Debbie Schlussel. This comes just days after the O’Reilly accusations. Hannity immediately … Continue reading

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